Taking off the jw blinders part 2

As soon as I published my last post, I realised that there was a big thing that I needed to add to it – huge in fact. It is implied in my post, but I wanted to explore it more.

Unconditional loveheart_love_luck_215422[1]

It sounds simple enough, but to a Jehovah Witness unconditional love is like a starving person tasting the best meal they’ve ever had, and then being told they can have it ALL the time. It’s mind boggling, when you’ve been given a false ‘love’ your whole life, the thought that someone loves you no matter what is just bizarre.

I was brought up a Witness, my mother was too, so all she knew was the conditional kind of love that Jehovah’s Witnesses know and practise so well. My father was an abusive alcoholic so I wasn’t going to learn unconditional love from him either – all he cared about was his next drink, I in fact was an annoying inconvenience to him.

Becoming a fully fledged member of the Witnesses certainly didn’t expose me to  unconditional love, no – I was given a Masters in knowing just how conditional it really is. Even God loves you conditionally because you have to do a whole list of things to be approved. The friends I had, they would drop me in a heartbeat if I went against the jw mentality. I went up against the brick wall of their expectations a few times in my life knowing them, and I came away learning that if I didn’t tow the line exactly, I would have no friends at all.

I came to expect recrimination if I disagreed with someone. Not even an argument, just a disagreement over something quite petty. Perhaps a difference in opinion, but just that meant that I had fallen in that person’s eyes and no longer warranted their affection. So again, I tried to maintain perfect behaviour in order to keep everyone’s approval. My very identity became tied up in this gaining of approval. This even manifested in my job. If I messed up and my boss was unhappy with me, I would be devastated for days.

Then walks in my now husband – and completely turned my head in on itself. I apologised to him about fifty times a day about anything and everything, he couldn’t stand it. It was as if I was apologising for being alive. Since I couldn’t succeed in gaining approval from everyone, all I had left was apologising that I didn’t have everyone’s approval.

His love for me started the process of learning unconditional love. When we argued it didn’t mean he stopped loving me, or withheld his affection. This I found astonishing. Even after the most hurtful screaming fights at the end of it he would still pull me into arms because I was crying. He kept telling me that it didn’t matter and that he still loved me no matter what. To be honest, I didn’t believe him. How could he? I gave him the benefit of the doubt though and operated in a new area of always being loved. It was the most amazing and liberating feeling. My self esteem sky rocketed and my need for others approval got chipped away to nothing. I was actually good enough – what a thought!

The completion of my studies so to speak, was when our son was born. That baby took me to school. He would smile and I would melt. He loved me just because I was his mommy. His complete trust and dependence on me taught me more than anything a book could. I loved him just because he existed, he didn’t need to do ANYTHING for me to love him. Suddenly my mother’s way of bringing me up stood in stark constrast to what I was experiencing. I could finally evaluate my childhood and reject all my feelings of responsibility for what went wrong. I finally knew it wasn’t my fault.

Unconditional love is so important in getting through to the cult mind. It won’t shut down immediately, in fact it won’t know what to do, but want more of this astonishing thing called unconditional love.

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4 thoughts on “Taking off the jw blinders part 2

  1. Sadly, most who leave the apostate city does not know there is faithful called ones out there! Matt 24:27, 28.
    The GB is UNfaithful ones ….they are the wicked slave / false prophet / harlot who rides, dominate the beast organization! They are not the first harlotdaughter of Babylon ; the religious leaders who got the Anointed Jesus killed – world who hated him and would hate his true followers – was also a daughter of her…(there are several worlds in the Scriptures, the religious leaders is one) If one takes in consideration that there are 2 seed / 2 nations of called ones; faithfull virgins and unfaithful prostitutes, then one can be able to see what is going on and what Jesus the Anointed One warned us about. The woman’s seed of Gen 3:15 is FAITHFUL ones, satan’s seed are unfaithful ones.. it has nothing to do with the gentile nations THEY did NOT hate Jesus…And of course, they will not be killed in Armageddon, which by the way is the last battle in a SPIRITUAL war; REAL truth vs lies… Remember, Paul said our protection is spiritual…Even the sign is spiritual … Soon, the bride is completed and THEN living water will be offered everyone who wants FOR FREE. Rev 22:17. PLEASE read, AN ILLUSTRATION:
    https://www.blogger.com/profile/13281232149590681155
    The God is building / creating a new, loving family; promise by promise (covenants), seed by seed…LOVE is the glue in the body… bride .. second, new eve to second adam ..Ro 8:19.LOVE will glue the new mankind together..the children of ‘new, second adam and eve’… Ro 8:21 ..ALL children of The God.. Earth is their inheritance, ALL OF THEM…
    LOVE is what matters, that is why Jesus said we should love our neighbour… the demand of those of the last promise, last seed, second / later born children .. the ‘world’ of 1 John 2:2 ..
    Thank you for our contribution… Agape to you and your family, keep on loving them and your fellow man. B.

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    • I have come to understand love is the most important thing. Perfecting our love for our neighbours and of course our families will make the world a better place. Thank you Berucha.

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  2. At my church, New Beginnings Community Church, I have experienced true unconditional love. At one particular church in my hometown, it was like a high school locker room I.E. if you weren’t the pastor’s relative or in that clique, you just didn’t fit in and by golly, they let you know it! At New Beginnings, I can go to the pastor after service and say ” good preaching, Pastor. But, you said this or that that I didn’t understand or entirely agree with”…And its OK! The church still loves you, you’re not visited by 2 elders later in the week and made to feel stupid ( like at a kingdom Hall) and the pastor and his wife do not snub you after that. We have freedom of thought and it is one church that truly does show unconditional love and that love keeps people coming back. Because no matter how you are dressed or where you are on your walk with God, He loves you first and foremost. We just follow His steps

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    • I’m so glad you’ve found the right place for you. It’s not easy finding it! I too have found unconditional love and contentment at the church I attend now. No one cares about how you’re dressed or guilts you because you missed last Sunday. They actually practise following Jesus, which is wonderful and refreshing.

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